Stop Asking About Personal Life

This brings us to the heart of today’s topic: Stop asking intrusive questions. It's 2025, and my hope is that society can shake off the habit of prying into individual personal matters—like relationships and life choices. The barrage of questions concerning where the man is, or why one hasn't settled down, seems to have reached its zenith. Since when did personal life become everyone's business?

Typically, I prefer to keep my dating life offline. It's private, and frankly, it's nobody's business but my own. My friends get it—they're navigating the same dating climate, understanding the nuances involved without needing to pepper each other with questions.

Battling Stereotypes and Expectations

Family gatherings often stir a different vibe. Despite being independent, with a good job and a fulfilling life, questions like "Where is the man?" or "When will you settle down?" keep cropping up. My male friends face similar scrutiny, constantly pressured about relationships as if it’s a criterion for adult success.

But let's step back and consider how this impacts broader societal trends, like birth rates and personal happiness. Do people really pause to ponder how much the dating world has evolved?

Drawing Boundaries to Pursue Independence

It’s time to establish boundaries. I've learned to communicate this with my family, explaining that finding a love life isn't my sole focus right now. My mother, after realizing my stance, respected it and stopped sending videos that hint at motherhood.

Before I gained independence with my own apartment and job, watching friends marry and start families occasionally left me feeling out of the loop. The glamorization of weddings and pregnancies dominated my social media, making it easy to idolize the idea rather than the substance of partnership.

Over time, I've freed myself from these notions. But now, it almost seems like society is on my case more than ever, bombarding me with questions about the next steps in my personal life.

Focusing on Personal Growth

"I am in a space where I just want to be financially right. I want stability, I want investments, I want to make sure that I am secure, whether in a relationship or single."

At this stage, my priorities have shifted to my own personal growth and financial health. That’s what truly matters. I’m not discounting relationships, but I am choosing to be intentional about how I approach them.

Relationship dynamics today have changed, with men and women reassessing roles within society and relationships. As women embrace financial independence, some men express discontent, feeling threatened by shifts in traditional roles. It raises questions about what truly defines partnership and parenthood in modern times.

Prioritizing Authentic Connections

Despite the pressure, we need to prioritize meaningful and authentic connections. It's about finding someone who genuinely complements you, not succumbing to external timelines or expectations.

I've seen people in marriages and parenthood who experience difficulties, often because their choices were driven by external pressures rather than personal conviction. Choosing partnership and parenthood must be intentional, considering emotional readiness alongside societal demands. In this vein, mutual consent and respect are critical. Both parties should be fully committed to nurturing their relationship, rather than just settling for societal norms.

Embracing Your Own Path

"In this life, however I choose to progress when it is my turn, and if it never is my turn, I want to be content with where I am at in that moment."

Asking a woman approaching 30 about marriage and children overlooks her personal journey and milestones she may have achieved or set for herself. These questions can be invasive, diminishing efforts to build self-sufficient, fulfilled lives.

In the West African context, women still carry significant cultural expectations alongside broader societal ones. The choice to marry or have children shouldn’t overshadow personal goals and career aspirations. Partnership and parenthood, the "two P's," should be a choice, not an obligation.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, everyone is on a unique journey. For some, marriage and children are integral components, while others may focus on different aspirations. Support each other's choices without imposing societal expectations. The next time you feel inclined to ask about someone's relationship status, consider how it might intrude on personal boundaries. We all deserve the freedom to pursue our paths without undue pressure.

Thank you for taking the time to explore these thoughts with me. Let's continue the conversation in the comments below. If you've faced similar challenges or if any part of this resonates with your own story, I'd love to hear from you!

Stay tuned for the next video, and remember to like and subscribe if you enjoyed this. See you soon! Bye.