The Catalyst
( What Prompted Me to Start My Journey)
My mental health journey began in 2019. I had just graduated college the year before and I was ready to step into adulthood. So I thought. I waited so long to get a full time job and I was ready to make money while pursuing my various passions. The money had not yet come but I just came back from the Bahamas and I was living my best life. I was learning how to conquer my everyday fears and even started dating again. I met this nice guy at a mutual friends’ birthday celebration but we didn’t reconnect until later. We dated for a few months, only to break up because he realized he had unfinished business elsewhere.
This crushed me, I was completely blindsided. I thought I could go on just fine but overtime I became mentally and emotionally unstable. I found myself in an on and off situationship. This wasn’t my first situationship, however, I thought this time around things would be different.The pain that I experienced was debilitating; there were mornings where I’d wake up feeling heavy. Eventually, I moved on from that situationship, but my pattern continued and I had reached a point where enough was enough. I was tired of the conceal and pretend to heal tactic when it came to my pain. Since adolescence, I’ve suffered from depression. I was violated as a child and I didn’t come to terms with how that affected how I navigated my adult relationships—-both platonic and romantic. In the past, my tolerance level for bad treatment was high and as a result, I always thought I could change people by showing them love. I had to change my method, in order to start seeing different results.
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